I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
