i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
