If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
