Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i out mim tonsoeep
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
