i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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