i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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