A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
