Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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