Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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