Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize