it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
