I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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