Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
