I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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