Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
