I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
and she was petting her beer can
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
