My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
it's great music for shaving your balls
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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