Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
