Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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