I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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