Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
