when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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