Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
