Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
