I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
