I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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