I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
