dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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