No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Terrible idea I love it
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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