fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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