too bad you live with your parents still
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
