Where did you get a picture of my penis
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
