all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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