Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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