He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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