Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You need a sexual gate keeper
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
