You're completely useless in the revolution.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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