belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
