GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
