So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
