Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
