I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
