It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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