are you so shy because you have an std?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
