Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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