At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
