Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
