So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
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