i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
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