can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
