all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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