Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
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