Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
